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The presidency of Donald Trump divided my family the way it has many others.[1] The day before the 2020 election, when we were still able to have candid conversations about Trump, I mentioned what I would be thinking and what I would have wanted Trump to do (or, not to do) to conduct a successful campaign and win the presidency. For some reason, this came off as critical of Trump. Indeed, I was being critical in that it seemed Trump had made plain and obvious missteps which could (and did) lead to his loss that year. I was not being critical in a negative or disrespectful sense; I was simply engaging (and enjoying) a conversation about the highly charged election. This, however, to my surprise, led to shouting and the termination of all such conversations to this very day four years later.

I never thought that my close relationship with my family could be harmed by anyone from the outside, let alone a political figure. My heart aches continually for how things used to be, as anyone that knows me, knows how much I love to sit and talk with loved ones. I love to hear their thoughts, opinions, hopes, and fears; their prognostications, speculations, and predictions. My family has always been patriotic, and we have always taken pride in casting our ballots; in fact, I was always the one to make sure everyone voted. So, over the last few years, to be ostracized from my family's political discussions, and to be estranged from their conversations is deeply hurtful. This is why I no longer consider myself a voter. The joy and excitement has been robbed from me. Moreover, I feel like a traitor to my family. If I don’t vote, I can at least look them in the eye without feeling like I have betrayed them.

How do I feel about Trump? I must confess, in 2016, I sympathized with much of his policy platform but was turned away by his rhetoric. Since 2020, his words, actions, and character have conflicted deeply with my American idealism, my Christian faith, and my principles of morality and family. Frankly, to support Trump would violate my conscience as a patriot, a Christian, and a family man, especially as a girl-dad. I understand that Trump supporters are appalled at such sentiment, and I do not mean it disrespectfully toward them, or even him.
As a patriot, I find his fascist comments[2] concerning and his conduct during and after the 2020 election disqualifying. As a Christian, I find his profanity, vulgarity, and ad hominem attacks inexcusable. As a family man, I find his character to be of such low degree that I cannot reconcile my example and testimony before my children with pulling the lever for him. While I struggle to imagine why any American would vote for Trump, especially after his behavior before and after losing the last election, I think I get it, as inflation was sharp, illegal immigration has been a growing problem, and wokeism, transgenderism, and a host of other -isms have been festering within the national conscience. Since he has been permitted on the ballot, I respect every voter’s right to do it. This understanding and fairness, however, is not reciprocated by the Trump supporters closest to me and has resulted in the termination of this part of our relationship.

Yesterday, my stomach was in knots. Not because Trump might win or lose, but because I did not know how either result would continue to affect my family and their relationship with me. If he lost, would it be more awkward? Or would his loss mean that with the passing of time our relationship may begin to heal? What if he won? I knew that would make them happy, but would it also push them further away from me, as his omnipresence would be assured for the next 4 years? Sure, I am concerned for the country, but every day I must bear the heartache of lost love in the midst of my own family.

On that note, what of the country? It is worth noting that many western democracies around the world have shifted far to the right, flirting more and more with authoritarianism. With the loss of the Greatest Generation, America seems to be forgetting the lessons of World War II. The rhetoric of Trump’s victorious 2024 campaign would have ensured a loss in previous generations. But this is, indeed, a new era of American government. I do not consider myself a republican or a democrat. In fact, to the chagrin of my dearly departed cousin, Jeremy, I have taken Bernie Sander’s moniker of democratic socialist. I am simply sharing my concerns about Trump and how he has not only promised to take America in an unprecedented direction, but he has somehow turned my loved ones against me.

And now he is once again our president. It’s the second coming of Trump! I must note that I have no conspiracy theory to accuse his campaign of cheating, I have no animosity for those who elected him, and I will offer no disrespect to him because I honor the office which he holds. But here he is, to haunt my life with my family for another 4 years. Since he entered the presidency in 2016 he has transformed my family and has been the cause of many enjoyable pastimes to come to an end. We no longer gather to watch Sunday football. We no longer talk on the phone about an NBA playoff game. We no longer read the Thanksgiving Day proclamation in church, nor pray for our leaders. We no longer discuss what’s going on in the country. And anytime such things are broached, it is with the full knowledge that I am trespassing, and that my stay should be polite and limited, as one might be with strangers.

Fortunately, we can be cordial and even enjoy company together. This is because all parties follow an unwritten law. We all pretend that the national world does not exist while we are together. We all grimace if something remotely political comes on the T.V. or YouTube. We smile and we talk, just not about everything. And that’s what hurts the most. We used to talk about everything.